soul-less

mood: zombie

salam alaik ppl

soul-less.i am.since few days ago.

don't have feeling to study,to revise for STD,to revise for MUET.i feel so bored doing all those stuff.

i just want to sit quietly,do nothing.

hopeless..helpless.i think those words describe me best,at least for this moment.

i have to strive for 3.50 and above for second std BUT i don't have that kind of strength.

someone...please make me realize!!!

luahan

salam alaik ppl..


hari ni ak nk post dlm bm. luahan rasa. seorang anak yg kehilangan bapanya.


7 FEBRUARI 2012
10.55 p.m: kring..kring..kring..kring....
my sis: "moh,gno dh alamat kolej ari tuh?"
ak: "kmkn,,,bla..bla..bkpo kak ijah?"
my sis: "nti meta ag kak ijah tepon balik la.moh standby la deh."
ak: "ok.." *bkpo nih?nk pos gpo male2? -.-'*


11.30 p.m:
"imah..imah.cg jal nk jumpe.."
"ad apa nih?...."
"awk fatimah?"
"ye cg,,sy fatimah."
"abah awk sakit ke?"
"mmg abah saya sakit cg"
"diorang tak bagitau lgi nih",kata cg.wani..."npe cg?",ak tanya.
"jom kita msuk bilik dlu",cg,jal ajak."awk sabar ye fatimah.."
"npe cg?apa  yg berlaku?"
"abah awk dah tak ada."
APA???


kosong.
ak rasa kosong. too sudden. terlau cepat. air mata dh mcm air paip kuar.
tak tahu nak capai apa.
sebulan tak jumpa abah n suddenly 'pap'.."ABAH DAH TAK ADA"
mybe ni ujian yg Dia bagi utk ak. utk family ak. kwn2 ckp ak kuat. kuat ke?ak sgt lemah korang.


abah dh sgt menderita, sejak operation bln 8 thn lepas. operation yg buatkn abah dh tak blh makan mknan biasa,,mkn nasi. abah kne mkn dgn wayar..TAPI,,mkn ke?minum susu je kan?
sebenarnya abah ak menghidap penyakit kanser mata, since sblm ak lahir. mla2 dye jadi mcm tahi lalat dkt birai mata. then, lama2 dye merebak, jadi makin besar, sampai efek seluruh mata kiri. akhirnya thn 2005, abah ak menjalani operation utk buang mata yg kne infection tuh.


2011.
dgn penyakit kencing manis yg dihadapi, tmpt yg buang mata makin teruk. dh start kne pergi husm kubang kerian tiap2 bln. dia dh bercmpur dgn nanah. disebabkan pnykit kencing manis tu jgk. sampai jdi bau krg enak.
Disember 2011.
abah kne pergi husm, bt operate tkar wayar drpd mulut ke perut. byk sikit bleh mnum susu. tu la yg dktr ckp.
badan abah pn makin susut, tinggal kulit ngn tulang je. dah x larat nk jalan.
satu hari, abah ak jatuh lam bilik air sbb xlarat nk berdiri. abah tak sedar.
sejak hari tu, abah dah tak boleh bangun sendiri. kne org tolong. sampai la saat2 terakhir abah.
sebulan ak di kmkn. tak boleh balik, pengarah tak bagi.


8 FEBRUARI 2012. 10a.m.
masa ak sampai kat umah, ak terus cari abah. tapi, yg ada cuma jasad abah yg tak bernyawa lagi.


"..abah,ampunkan semua salah silap anakmu ini. moh tahu moh byk bt salah ngn abah, selalu tak dengar cakap abah, selalu melawan. tak sempat nak mintak maaf dgn abah. abah, moh sayang abah. moh tak akan lupakan abah. semoga abah bahagia disana.."


ak selalu npk abah ak bt kalendar thn baru. tpi, thn lpas ak npk kalendar start bln 9 je. rupa-rupanya abah dh tahu masa dia tak lama lagi. dia dah dpt rasakan yg dia akn pergi bt selama-lamanya.


BUAT KORANG:
kalau korg bt salah ngn parents korang, cpt2 mtk maaf. kta tak tahu bila diorang akan pergi or mybe kita yg pergi dulu. hargai parents korang selagi mana mereka ada. they are the best happen to you. 
bt yg korang yg ayah/mak dh tak ada,,jgn lupakan mereka. doakan mereka semoga ditempatkan dlm kalangan org2 beriman dan beramal soleh. moga2 kita akan jumpa mereka kelak,insyaAllah.

"life..and death.garisan tu je yang pisahkan kita.dan doa tu penghubung paling kuat."

~hlovate, schubert's serenade~

moga abah ditempatkan dalam kalangan org2 beriman dan bertakwa.
amin.

Happy Birthday Ya Rasulullah

Mood: 12 Rabiulawal=5Februari 2012

Today as everyone know,12 Rabiulawal on Tahun Gajah about 1400 years ago,born a boy baby named Muhammad bin Abdullah.He was our Prophet,Rasulullah S.A.W..

Ya Rasulullah,happy birthday!

In Bimbingan Puteri last Friday,a JTAI member share something in conjunction of our Prophet’s birthday.She said that when the day where all human being were woke up from death,everyone will be very busy going to Padang Mahsyar.Everyone wil just do their own business including other prophets EXCEPT with capital E there, our Prophet, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w…

He will asked His ummat to come and drink water from Al-Kauthar well.

”ummati,,ummati,,come..come.it is hot,,come drink some water.”(this is translation verse)

~I feel like my father talking to me~

And the way He recognize His ummat was by nur of wudhu’.It is said that when we took our wudhu’ perfectly,on the day of kiamat, it will lighten our wudhu’s parts.

So,it is compulsory for us to take wudhu’ perfectly so that our Prophet can recognize us,,InsyaAllah.

Btw,I was so touched when she told this story.i felt so ashamed because I am very rarely remember to Rasulullah but He always remember His ummat even when He was almost ‘go’…I hope I can have the chance to meet Him.

So,from now on,,not only me,,but all of us must always selawat to Rasulullah s.a.w..hopefully,on the day of kiamat we will have the chance to meet our Prophet.If He can remember to us so why don’t we, as His ummat cannot remember Him too right?

Sahih International

Say, [O Muhammad], "If you should love Allah , then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."

(al-imran:31)

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA RASULULLAH” :)