be strong

mood: cik selsema dah datang 

salam alaik ppl

jom tadabur ayat.surah fatir.

Sahih International

O mankind, you are those in need of Allah , while Allah is the Free of need, the Praiseworthy (35:15)

so..so true.Allah just have everything,He can do everything He want,with just "kun fa ya kun".

we are the one that need Him.i think this verse make me realize.

dunya is just nothing to Him (extract from Tehah's tazkirah last night).

do not feel sad if our grade is not good.just because our friends have better grade than us.

Allah will look at our effort,not the result after that.He wants to see how we put our effort in anything we do.He already set our fate n fortune.but,all those can be less or more according to our effort.

don't worry, if we don't get the 'reward' in dunya,,insyaAllah we can get it in hereafter.that is the best 'reward'.

REMEMBER!!

we just live 'here' a moment,but we will stay 'there' forever.

some ppl said,,life is just between azan n iqamat.

so,prepare ourself to face the day when Allah want to take us back.

p's: i miss my abah so much.

this saturday is already 40 days my abah 'go'.

hopefully one fine day i will meet my abah 'there'.amin.

soul-less

mood: zombie

salam alaik ppl

soul-less.i am.since few days ago.

don't have feeling to study,to revise for STD,to revise for MUET.i feel so bored doing all those stuff.

i just want to sit quietly,do nothing.

hopeless..helpless.i think those words describe me best,at least for this moment.

i have to strive for 3.50 and above for second std BUT i don't have that kind of strength.

someone...please make me realize!!!

luahan

salam alaik ppl..


hari ni ak nk post dlm bm. luahan rasa. seorang anak yg kehilangan bapanya.


7 FEBRUARI 2012
10.55 p.m: kring..kring..kring..kring....
my sis: "moh,gno dh alamat kolej ari tuh?"
ak: "kmkn,,,bla..bla..bkpo kak ijah?"
my sis: "nti meta ag kak ijah tepon balik la.moh standby la deh."
ak: "ok.." *bkpo nih?nk pos gpo male2? -.-'*


11.30 p.m:
"imah..imah.cg jal nk jumpe.."
"ad apa nih?...."
"awk fatimah?"
"ye cg,,sy fatimah."
"abah awk sakit ke?"
"mmg abah saya sakit cg"
"diorang tak bagitau lgi nih",kata cg.wani..."npe cg?",ak tanya.
"jom kita msuk bilik dlu",cg,jal ajak."awk sabar ye fatimah.."
"npe cg?apa  yg berlaku?"
"abah awk dah tak ada."
APA???


kosong.
ak rasa kosong. too sudden. terlau cepat. air mata dh mcm air paip kuar.
tak tahu nak capai apa.
sebulan tak jumpa abah n suddenly 'pap'.."ABAH DAH TAK ADA"
mybe ni ujian yg Dia bagi utk ak. utk family ak. kwn2 ckp ak kuat. kuat ke?ak sgt lemah korang.


abah dh sgt menderita, sejak operation bln 8 thn lepas. operation yg buatkn abah dh tak blh makan mknan biasa,,mkn nasi. abah kne mkn dgn wayar..TAPI,,mkn ke?minum susu je kan?
sebenarnya abah ak menghidap penyakit kanser mata, since sblm ak lahir. mla2 dye jadi mcm tahi lalat dkt birai mata. then, lama2 dye merebak, jadi makin besar, sampai efek seluruh mata kiri. akhirnya thn 2005, abah ak menjalani operation utk buang mata yg kne infection tuh.


2011.
dgn penyakit kencing manis yg dihadapi, tmpt yg buang mata makin teruk. dh start kne pergi husm kubang kerian tiap2 bln. dia dh bercmpur dgn nanah. disebabkan pnykit kencing manis tu jgk. sampai jdi bau krg enak.
Disember 2011.
abah kne pergi husm, bt operate tkar wayar drpd mulut ke perut. byk sikit bleh mnum susu. tu la yg dktr ckp.
badan abah pn makin susut, tinggal kulit ngn tulang je. dah x larat nk jalan.
satu hari, abah ak jatuh lam bilik air sbb xlarat nk berdiri. abah tak sedar.
sejak hari tu, abah dah tak boleh bangun sendiri. kne org tolong. sampai la saat2 terakhir abah.
sebulan ak di kmkn. tak boleh balik, pengarah tak bagi.


8 FEBRUARI 2012. 10a.m.
masa ak sampai kat umah, ak terus cari abah. tapi, yg ada cuma jasad abah yg tak bernyawa lagi.


"..abah,ampunkan semua salah silap anakmu ini. moh tahu moh byk bt salah ngn abah, selalu tak dengar cakap abah, selalu melawan. tak sempat nak mintak maaf dgn abah. abah, moh sayang abah. moh tak akan lupakan abah. semoga abah bahagia disana.."


ak selalu npk abah ak bt kalendar thn baru. tpi, thn lpas ak npk kalendar start bln 9 je. rupa-rupanya abah dh tahu masa dia tak lama lagi. dia dah dpt rasakan yg dia akn pergi bt selama-lamanya.


BUAT KORANG:
kalau korg bt salah ngn parents korang, cpt2 mtk maaf. kta tak tahu bila diorang akan pergi or mybe kita yg pergi dulu. hargai parents korang selagi mana mereka ada. they are the best happen to you. 
bt yg korang yg ayah/mak dh tak ada,,jgn lupakan mereka. doakan mereka semoga ditempatkan dlm kalangan org2 beriman dan beramal soleh. moga2 kita akan jumpa mereka kelak,insyaAllah.

"life..and death.garisan tu je yang pisahkan kita.dan doa tu penghubung paling kuat."

~hlovate, schubert's serenade~

moga abah ditempatkan dalam kalangan org2 beriman dan bertakwa.
amin.